[Verse 1] The one time I wore my helmet, I was hit by a car ‘Told I was a star by one that fell But hell, he's schizophrenic So nothing is written except these rap words Last heard screaming about being defeated, only to come on back now, trying to avoid fetus-like positions Everyone is winnin' I guess I'm Charlie Sheen at the beginnin' Stuck in the past like portrayals of women “Why you bringing up old shit?!”... thought my old girl when I asked if she ever saw her old guy's dick Bow to the Lord of Insecurity I know I'm a ruler, but I'm told that no one's ever heard of me ¿Como te llama? Me llamo Kuzco I've been reduced to my true form Reception of this album might be pretty lukewarm And it would be completely my fault [Verse 2] But now is the time to bet on myself With everything to lose, shit better go well My parents don't wanna hear curse words These girls don't want a Bandcamp link with a cursor blinking in the “Name your price” box I want friends to see more than cold air in their ice box Wanna be more than a player with a nice shot I'm kickstarting my career with a mic drop

[Verse 1] I wished my wit’s dryness matched your panties I had to stop believing you’re for me, I had to give up trying to be Mandy, ‘cause I’m fucking Billy: kind of stupid; silly So if this straight shit fails again, then I’m fucking Billy The first Billy I find, his dick is mine I guess I’ll see if that’s a sin whenever Grim comes to get me I’m joking, but yes, I’m socially disfigured, sexually confused Catch me in some knickers, in the sheets dozing Madison Montgomery-sparked wet dream I ate her like her pussy was on the menu “limited time only” Told a Tumblr feminist, “I’m like this ‘cause my mommy failed to hold me.” No one consoles me, I'm consulting myself on matters I know you’d love to call me Jaleel White meets Marshall Mathers, not realizing I'm playing characters I'm not your "nice guy", nerd, or misogynist I don't think I'm entitled to shit; calm your tits [Hook] We be reachin’ for a reason to say women be shoppin’ Women be reachin’ for a reason to say we are oppressive Yes, I guess some days I figure I only want you for sex And some days I want you for your fire body of intellect And I’m just sayin’ I agree your perspective isn’t respected But before you tell me mine, I’ll like to explain myself It’s like… like... Like, can I explain myself? It’s like… like… like… like... [Verse 2] This signal is mixed up; do I ask if you even want a mixed drink? Or do I just order you one in a big cup? All of this room for a social hiccup Should I sit and yell at my dick just for existing? Facetious picking of straw from man Eggshell slippers; maybe I should be off a Zan... I don’t want to offend I don’t want to impose I don’t want to pretend I just want to be me; I'm told that's a bad decision What argument to side with, initiative or permission? Closed mouths don't get fed, but I see you deal with dickheads pecking at your lips while you try to tell them to get lost, so I feel you I'll sit, lead in my shoes, fingertips treading these keys You're my Woman Crush Wednesday, I'm Eric Bischoff

[Verse] Never been in love… and I’m still not You only make my blood feel hot I wanna feel sure; I’ve watched people insist tying a steel knot… then hire a wire cutter I’m covered in worry; afraid to smother or be smothered In the ex file cabinet, I would be “other” ... I’m getting ahead of myself in the worst way Overwhelmed, internal Wilhelm, feeling any attempt will fail, moment narrated by Will Ferrell This is much stranger than fiction, still narrow-minded say dreaming’s an affliction I shouldn’t be so idealistic, I remind myself, but yet, I find myself thinking of you and I, cuddled in a cottage or some shit… countryside sunrise, I am such a “twit”, the computer says back, as I sift through your pics Or maybe that was Skype; my friends say I’m sick Yeah, ‘cause Cupid didn’t sanitize the arrow Now I’m doped up, and dying for you to care, so... Here I am; and here you are Tearing me out of myself, seeming as if you’re a star that has no end in sight Even if I traveled light years, I would find you right here, still burning bright It’s like... time and space collapse and reform at the blink of your eyes I die, get reborn When they close, when they open When they open, when they close I grow warm, I go cold I’m so scared, I’m so bold No control; ensnared You’re like gold, you’re my goal You’re a person I like; is it love, I don’t know I was told this would feel like peace … I just wanna know if you feel like me. [Hook] I just wanna know what you’ve been up to… I just wanna know what door to come through… I just wanna know what completes the puzzle… I just wanna know what it means to love you…

[Verse] First thing first, 'guess I gotta argue with Drake ‘Cause fuck gettin’ offline, that ain’t part of my day I got Twitter on lock, SoundCloud poppin’, ‘Tube poppin’ Fuck your Tumblr, bitch, I create; ain’t no rebloggin’ I was runnin’ Blogspot back in 2010 Real sad shit, now every muthafucka’ C-walkin’ You ain’t blue, bitch, cheer the fuck up My suicide attempt was very real, not a cute stunt This is not a contest, though This is not a circle tearjerk, just know, being weird hurt Being real hurt Being real hurt; bled, so that you could pop shit from a steel perch I built? ‘Fuck you mean, hoe? I was runnin’ through the 6 with my 17 woes Now ya’ boy glo’d... but I ain’t up Yet, if you turn on the TV, you can watch a nigga load Eons in my hand, pennin’ timeless songs If you ain’t watchin’ what I’m doin’, your time is wrong Fan in 30 minutes, or the tape is free But you’re hater if you don’t want a taste of me No pause, suck my breadstick, no teeth Seems like pizza is the hottest in the street And I’m still delicious even if I cool off It’s just a personal preference that I bother with the heat Damn, they hopin’ that I burn myself But they want the technique, wanna learn it theyself But they can’t work the oven like me, flip it like me Don’t make me be a murderous chef Yeah, “Wonderful Sausage”; “Heads of Beef” “What’s Cookin’”, in the kitchen like Christopher Reeve This a dangerous soup, I’m Dr. Vink Fuckin’ right, I did it, I ain’t coppin’ a plea Fuck naw, I ain’t coppin’ a plea If they say they’re makin’ fire, then they’re copying me That’s the only way to see it, only way to view it These muthafuckas out here re-makin’, they ain’t makin’ music They ain’t makin’ art, they just tracin’ And before you call me out for the same, understand that I’m just on here demonstratin’ Stuntin’ ain’t hard, it’s just everybody’s favorite Just a bad habit in this rap habitation Well, fuck this place, I’ma build a new nation Nah, I’ma build a new globe; chiselin’ this bitch And this brand new thang only spinnin’ when I spit Yeah, ‘bout to fit these rappers with the Valentine chip Let ‘em kill each other when my hand hit the desktop Oh, you so mad, oh, I know you had to flip I’m rollin’ like Rick, I’m a troll, give me fresh socks My shit soaked, water under the bridge Only you still thirsty to come at the kid Drink a cumshot through a straw, no ice; through with y’all I don’t understand why the fuck they keep recruitin’ y’all You fuckin’ clone; ain’t nothin’ new with y’all I kill one of y’all, in come two of y’all Shit, I might as well spawn camp But you should know pizza boy. forever do what y’all can’t

[Hook] Move through this thing like a serpent You could move through this thing like a serpent Move through this thing like a circuit You could move through this thing like a circuit Move through this thing like a U-Haul You could move through this thing like a U-Haul Move through this thing witcha’ cool off You could move through this thing witcha’ cool off [Verse 1] Feeling like Kit Snicket, I could die after giving birth to this verse God dang, what a sticky wicket Where to find worth in a world that was birthed with none? I be aligning with purposes, I be curving some I might wanna get married, I might wanna be alone I might wanna grow my hair, I might wanna get a comb I might wanna let you cook, I might wanna throw a stone, though it’s better in my soup, not headed for your home We could come together, we could make something good … Or we can accept blandness But dammit, why take what we’re handed? Give me no flavor, and I’d rather have famine [Verse 2] Why try, right? Beats me, bruh I’m just here for the lulz and the pizza I could die in the street In my sleep On the beach, underneath her, smothered by DD cups (Damn!) I just wanna be the rap Double D... (Shit!) I just wanna NOT be a wannabe... (Fuck!) I gotta maneuver out my parent's house And only Carmen Sandiego’s gonna know my whereabouts

[Verse] Eating cheese dogs and Doritos at 7 AM My voice is grating... just say when I felt at peace at Olive Garden, I was with my best friend Now I’m confused and distraught, and more than a bit lost I’ve been… hip-tossed right through the Spanish Announce Table “Chico negro estupido”, talking from my bootyhole again … Now I’m back in that deep shit That “Talking aloud when I’d rather not speak” shit And no one is around, so only I receive it That “Hating you because I’m so sick of me” shit And I know you’re sick of me, bitch You don’t have to listen to me, bitch <Just leave me alone> I don’t really mean this I need to retrace the sequence How did I end up this bitter and disgruntled? I do know, I don’t know, I do know, I don’t know <Just leave me alone> I have to figure this out ... Locate a feeling bigger than ouch Yes, I'm wounded and aching to prove shit But who's the voice of reason, and who's just a nuisance? [Hook] I could kill, but I'll keep to myself for now I could heal, but I'll be unwell for now You know, I know, we know How this ends, how things go I just want you to feel me when I'm done

[Hook] I’m jacked up, I’m finna act up I’m jacked up, I’m finna act up I’m jacked up, I’m finna act up I’m jacked up, I’m finna act up I’m jacked up, I’m finna act up I’m jacked up, I’m finna act up I’m jacked up, I’m finna act up You act up, you gettin’ smacked up Fuckboy, say what? (Huh?) Whatcha say, fuckboy? (Huh?) Whatcha say, fuckboy? Fuckboy, say what? (Huh?) Whatcha say, fuckboy? (Huh?) Whatcha say, fuckboy? Fuckboy, say what? (Huh?) Whatcha say, fuckboy? (Huh?) Whatcha say, fuckboy? Fuckboy, say what? (Huh?) Whatcha say, fuckboy? (Huh?) Whatcha say, fuckboy? [Verse 1] Flyer than you, ain’t never left my feet I’m powered up, hoe, check my ki I'm glowin', bitch Feel the glare Burn your eyes Hold my dick I’m finna gloat a bit; add me a giga Wait, they just wanna laugh at a nigga I can’t prove it, but I know I sniff it They smell funny; Owen Wilson That prejudice, you know it’s built-in Lies you told those po’ lil’ children Tell them why you turnt now Why white girls wanna twerk now Why you trill, why Vine ill Why you live, while I’m killed Why you white-washed this rap thing so I couldn’t see a speck of dirt in this crowd Wow. I’m the only black one at this rap show And somehow, that makes me the asshole … But let’s think about that later, ‘cause for now, I have a responsibility to entertain this crowd, so I’ll... Do it. [Verse 2] 44 of them Red Bulls My dick longer than med school My dick thicker than Hannity's skull Shove it your ear, ‘til your sanity choke Go so deep, ‘til you don’t sleep, and your thoughts spasm, and you start asking how you became a big fan of me, hoe That’s called “cumming to a realization” These other rappers can’t make you nut, so they conceal the hatred Some of them just fancy poppin’ shit Well, we ain’t too opposite Except I’ma kill you and have your family clean your body up like an antioxidant

[Verse 1] Every time these words rhyme, I hope I’m impressing this Lebanese girl with these pretty eyes… She said “Hi” in health class, and my “conscious of self” ass had to overreact, and yet another gaffe tapped me on the shoulder and told me to get rekt I redirected that suggestion to my self-esteem Beta boy, fly as a broken Delta wing Mister, mister, I think something’s wrong with the plane He gave me Lexapro and said “No being strange. That’s restricted. Cast the misfits out of you.” Demon named Simpson, first name Bartholomew One named Darko, one named Morgendorffer Doctor’s orders I followed them because those demons are whores And frankly, I don’t need ‘em no more But they are not the reason I'm drinkin’ this pickle juice They are not why I ask Death what that sickle do My soul is scarred, this pill is a bandage I'm afraid I could spill from this hammock [Hook] You’re not crazy, you’re like everybody else I know you’re disappointed You thought you’d been anointed I am crazy, but for everybody’s health I'll make it look romantic I'll make them wanna stand it [Verse 2] I admit, I'm becoming the issue Quoting the figureheads, handing out the tissues Who’s addicted to masturbation? Who’s addicted to self-sabotage? Did you anxiously reblog that anxiety post? You’re more Ed: depression is your buttered toast We are not the same, I’m in the darkness Smart kid, smart ass gettin’ probed by the martians They left Earth and never looked back Think they found the suicide note in my bookbag? You have a suicide note on your t-shirt ... I want to see you naked; kneejerk Seduced, yet knowing of the truth You’re a fake fuck, but your "aesthetic" is cute I guess I’ll humor you; I guess I want you But you don’t really understand this Fuck you. [Hook]

[Verse 1] Love you Create your own art, think about it, everyone expects you to do Sun Tzu Funnily enough, that is the practice of deception No matter who gives advice, second guess it If you were wrong, learn the lesson If you were right, so was I Make sure the restroom is empty before you talk to yourself Greet the enemy alone, but have an army in stealth Check compatibility before you make a purchase Clear your history, downloads, and your searches You are not perfect, but always try to be Choose Wingstop over Buffalo Wild Wings Then clean your hands, if you grab the controller before you do, I’ll kill you before you even see the title screen [Hook] This is how you avoid the avoidable And this is how you prepare for all the unexpected Everything is nothing; everything is something Recall this song, if you must remember one thing [Verse 2] Back up your files And when the backup dies, get the backup and smile Know that nothing is safe, and then protect it No matter what, don’t trust an erection That goes for the girls and boys Apple is the opps; go Android Wake up early every now and then You get the AM Crunchwrap, plus, you might find more time to design and decide and provide and accomplish Strive for mastery, believe you’re a novice Never make a promise You’ll be better off if you just do and astonish Remove the unnecessary commas And if you must creep on LinkedIn, then make sure you’re anonymous And sleep like you’ll never wake up And sorry to contradict, but stay up [Hook]

[Verse 1] Vanguard-ed God ran Dan Harmon through a rap filter, and got me Most Anxious Alive, I am top three Plug your controller into slot B, you’re a visitor Your fetish is when they nigger her; we are not post-race with Blacked.com I bombed on the stage where they showcase trap and pop for hot moms Heard I had a lane long ago; it got paved over Flyness comparable to a layover If I blew up, I couldn’t be fixed with your makeover I’m conspicuously pure like a water bottle, spit like Triple H, game over Damaged the quad core, too much porn Not poor, but money only buys happiness, bitch, I need salvation I’m pizza boy., but I won’t eat it if Sal made it I’d ignore the indicator that alerts “YOU ARE NOW FADED.” I stopped lying to myself about moderation Got too turnt off candy, sent the moderator’s family a jizz bottle That’ll teach the fucker for banning me Killed the power drunk, then I took an hour luncheon Locked an asshole in a Terror Tower dungeon On the real, Morgred was a molester Morbid jokes, I troll, and blokes get pestered... [Verse 2] I don’t listen to MF Doom, MFs die and get exhumed to get compared Shit’s unfair; would Tupac care if Young Thug wears a dress? ‘Cause don’t nobody else care except you Newsflash: Now it’s two dads in the parent group; you mad? Well, me too ‘Cause girls still think I’m some kinda creep who beats his dick to their images Women, it’s perception, stop distorting reality I don’t want your panties; I’d rather have your dildo batteries My Game Boy is dying, my shame is multiplying like Bebe’s offspring I was in class like “Could you do that again? You lost me.” I was distracted by more interesting things... [Verse 3] Thinking you have head lice will humble you Your fucking hard drive failing will humble you I don’t need that, my ego is at a record low My comfort’s missin’; rap doesn’t fit me I’d likely be better off working for Dunder Mifflin … At least there I’d make paper.

[Verse] I propose Barack prepare a salary for 'batin and pardon me for bugging Dara, Valerie, and Caitlyn I’ll be a rich man for my dick handling, and they’ll see I’m not so insane But for real? I’m more depressed than a Knicks fan, oh, please, tell why I still have faith I don’t wanna fap, I don’t want to see their cats Why do I rap this mess? Why rep what erodes my flesh? Look at me being everything but myself Using this motherfucking voice, over-enunciating, finishing every word like that’ll save me from dying for being a few shades darker than Yung Berg Politics and respect don’t mesh They’ll feed the stereotype ‘til that bitch heavyset But I’ll punch it in the gut, ‘til I see upchuck, then shove their faces in it and make them dissect it Everything for a reason; everything looking like AD’s 4th season Out of order, this planet is broken Rung the bell for service and it sounded like Bree Olsen So I doubted anyone was really gonna come But really, I just had to learn to work my tongue Now I’m here, tryina’ speak help into existence Mouth to the heavens, begging for help or tips when I once thought they weren’t even necessary But my efforts were futile Lo and behold, this is me now Brutal.