1. |
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[Verse 1]
This is how depression starts: Swiftly; without warning
I’m still mourning things yet to happen
All because I made of mess of napkins; mortal sin
This portal ends somewhere between the lion’s den and the magic cupboard he’s in
I left my courage in an imaginary place
I ask each day what more is in store
I’m scared, I’m indoors, I want no part of this
I smell a foul stench in the air, where’s Artemis
Pardon this pensiveness plus this persistent irrational distrust of cardigans
I’m guarded no matter the position the card is in
Wary of the face-downs
This isn’t trap
You don’t know what to say now, dummy pants, so you throw your thinking hat high up... and Shmoney Dance
[Hook]
I understand, you’re not impressed, but you can keep that to yourself
Cause you can’t do what I do, if you think you can, go screw yourself
‘Cause that's just what I do
(You wanna be me? Then never ever let yourself be free cause-)
That's just what I do
(You wanna be me? Then never ever let yourself be free)
I understand, you’re not impressed, but you can keep that to yourself
Cause you can’t do what I do, if you think you can, go screw yourself
‘Cause that's just what I do
(You wanna be me? Then never ever let yourself be free cause-)
Yeah, that's just what I do
(You wanna be me? Then never ever let yourself be free)
[Verse 2]
Each song is BART graffiti; each line is a chalkboard gag
Each day my intelligence fades, so I write simpler things, and talk more bad
But I talk more, right, moron?
Add a social point to the sheet you keep score on
I’ll probably still "fail at life", but that phrase is stupid, and I made it useless, ‘cause I don’t live
And I barely exist
4chan lurking prepared me for this
But I’m bad at letting go, so I made two Horcruxes from an unmixed snare and a kick
I’m a corrupted kid with a slick tongue, but which one?
One has a poisonous parcel
Every day feels so hit and miss
Really, I should put faith on my Christmas list
[Hook]
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2. |
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[Verse: pizza boy.]
My friends playin’ vidya, I can’t be bothered, I’m surly
Computer freezing for some reason like me in front of a girl
"He moves like a creep, therefore, he must be one."
I can see thought bubbles, but the catch is only mean ones... and the basic ones
I guess I get stunned by your rudiments
I couldn’t care less how your booty fits
But let’s be fair; I dun’ rolled around in my share of grime
Cut a girl’s hair in 4th grade, tryina’ build a shrine
Criminy! Didn’t know better, I blame Pataki
I wonder if she would approve of Instagram hacking
I’m lacking in content; I should get out more
Or maybe I should get you to come inside and doubt more
But these aren’t shoes, I don’t think you can walk in these
Bare feet causing the crunch of autumn leaves
I don’t care who’s season it is, even if it’s mine
We’re all dying; I just want to fly before my time
Yet, I'm sitting in this CVS lot like "Should I run up in the pharmacy, pop the top on every bottle, swallow, then try not to puke up in the condom aisle while half-heartedly whining about how I never got to use 'em?"
My parents should read my therapist’s notebook
But they would find notes of me cussin’, so I hope they don’t look
I’m so afraid to be a Grown Ass Man
I don’t respect the phrase Grown Ass Man
Who the fuck are you?
Who the fuck am I?
I’m the type to set fire to your house, then run inside to save you
I haven’t made sense since grade 2
They shouldn't have made me skip 1, my dick’s numb
I’ve been fucking this Nerf football for an hour
FYI, I don’t think about you in the shower
I’m sick of being typecast, I’m also insane
I want a different result from spying on your page
[Hook: pizza boy.]
I’m sorry... I disturbed... your life...
Return to your nothing
(x4)
Now
[Outro: Van Buren]
I'm sorry, ohhh...
I'm sorry, ohhh...
I'm sorry, ohhh...
I'm sorry, ohhh...
I'm sorry, ohhh...
I'm sorry, ohhh...
I'm sorry, ohhh...
I'm sorry, ohhh...
I'm sorry, ohhh...
I'm sorry, ohhh...
I'm sorry, ohhh...
I'm sorry, ohhh...
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3. |
melt.
02:56
|
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[Verse 1]
I’ll end up forgotten
I’ll be okay with that, and I’ll eat candied cotton
Don’t even like it, but I’m living, and I don’t like that either, so why take a breather?
Neither you or I have an answer to repeated procedure
I have a pet Porygon, and it keeps giving me seizures
I won't get rid of it, though
It’s more like cigarette smoke
Not bad, just a byproduct of it...
I sorta love it
[Hook]
Windows up, doors locked, on the hottest day
Dozing off into the feelings that I lock away
Content to be poorly represented
Content that you ignore me, never mentioned, never listened to, I'm feeling you, I get it
I'm a plaza of scattered intention
I'd rather have a platter than smidgens
Is that too much to ask for?
Am I too much of something you did not ask for?
[Verse 2]
I miss Club River Run and the pseudo-independence
Listening to Hellfyre Club when I was emotionally winded
Excess spendin’... on fast food
Roommate-induced bad moods...
It’s hard not to romanticize
There was peace in not having my naps analyzed
Back at my parents' house, starin’ out a window
It was all good just a month ago, I’m uncomfortable
From homework to home-cooked meatloaf
Both are equally poor, but one could be ignored
My goodness, I took for granted how I soared through those quaint dorms like a demented, male Storm
What a maelstrom; I was blue like Selsun
Frantically trying to prepare for when Cell comes
And now he’s here...
I coulda' been someone
|
||||
4. |
||||
[Verse 1: Sus Boy 3000 (pizza boy.)]
I wrote this for a girl on Vine named ‘mohammed’, I don’t know if that’s her real name… but it would be a real shame… if it was
I wrote this for a guy named Mark, ‘cause he’s a real pal; I hope he’s still down
And I hope his pretty sister knows the deal now... I've got a buzz
But what does that matter when it doesn't equal deal, and you scare people still, and a dollar menu meal is biggest source of light in your day?
So I wrote this for the sign twirlers… and the shine hurlers; I appreciate you not throwing shade
This is for the mimes feeling trapped in the box; if you ever, ever panic, just go ahead and say:
[Hook: Sus Boy 3000 (pizza boy.)]
Sometimes, I am slick with words, sometimes, I’m a bit perturbed, and that is okay
Sometimes, I am slick with words, sometimes, I’m a bit perturbed, and that is okay
Sometimes, I am slick with words, sometimes, I’m a bit perturbed, and that is okay
Sometimes, I am slick with words, sometimes, I’m a bit perturbed, and that is okay
[Verse 2: Big Sus Boi (Shampoo Papi)]
I wrote this all alone at night in my underwear while I eat some cheesecake
Maybe this a mistake, this is sus
I wrote this little rhyme online in a document I probably need to re-save
I'll dress like Wiz Khalifa for a buzz
But what does that matter if it can't get me a deal
And I can't afford a meal and I'm forced to have to steal?
|
||||
5. |
||||
[Verse 1]
California burrito and a smile, being idle, ignoring idols, flying high
I might buy a Cruiserweight Title replica
I'm above writing raps in Helvetica
I made a typeface; I grew a language
I destroyed your galaxy, cause in it, Pokémon was real, Erika dealt grass, Brock ran a brothel in Pewter
Etcetera
I think it's time I hold the pair I grew
I'm not scared of you, I built a lair for truth
Quite frankly, the Klaus Baudelaire of the booth, which is actually a bedroom for two
I caught the dorm room blues, but today is a good day
All the symptoms are in sedation
Frustrations tucked away like grades when you know that C is gonna make your dad peeved, so...
[Hook]
Bury that depression in your bookbag
Appear good even when your soul looks bad
Be brave in the face of uncertainty
Behave in public and show courtesy
Build a moat, and fill that thang' with Haterade
Address worry and save for peace for later days
We gon' build sum'n nice today
We gon' build sum'n nice today
[Verse 2]
The faint of heart cry in mason jars, and I sip coolly
Cruelly, I took candy from a baby, and replaced it with a mic to encourage the youth to speak out about their plight
Reverse psychology; orchestrated rebellion
Angel-fy the hellions, hell-ify the Melvins
Smash televisions, kick start revolutions
This is not a drill, it's Chiraq's solution
I feel like the arbiter of the universe
I'ma have to ask haters to disperse, this is a "no flex without representation" zone
Tell Rich Gang pay us what they owe
I want racks of brain cells and a brick of Blow Pops
How many licks for respect on O-Block?
Roll that Tootsie for a scholar
Holler if you heard me on a song and gained a new power
[Hook]
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6. |
||||
[Verse]
Music unrelatable; undesirable
Fans swear I'm lying, though
My blue heart remains, though I've been wounded so much, it should be violet
Sent petitions to Obama, he rejects 'em, I'll keep trying, though
Dwelling in that zone where no lion goes
Laughing like a hyena because your mountain lion froze
Steve Jobs wasn't a maverick
I'm mad at monopolies in the market, I see go and I go past it
I go in until there's nothing left; cut a check; 2hunna
Dollars, not a thousand; I'm broke in student housing
I'm choking on the bat, hands slippin', girls pitchin' from the mound and I get nervous, so I bunt then run around the bases like I hit a home run
But I never passed the first one
And honestly, she's basic, so why am I even playin'?
Just sayin'
Back to scheme, you'll find me lounging and wondering why I heck I find Ronda Rousey arousing
Pounce on any and everything in the kitchen I've found, and bring it back to my bedroom, cause my roommate ruined the couch when he brought that girl to the house, and he put his tongue in her mouth and put something else in a place that we don't have to talk about
Right?
Cause that’s naaaasty
I’m like Cleveland when I rap, so you traaaash me
But I’m cool; I’ll speed up when you catch up
For argument’s sake, let’s say you did
Guess what?
Time for the Bic, thumb slides, and a flick
Dumb guys get close and get fried like they French
Got a fire inside, it arrives when I spit
Thought I meant a lighter? No, I’m describing my pen when it glides on a sheet and I’m vibing to beats, and you hate from the side like Spike, but I leave on a jet with the win, I’m the king of New York
Kickin’ it like the guy that I "sneaked" in the bar two lines ago
Bouncer missed it
Now Romeo Must Die for spouting slick, it’s-
Really not worth it; kill the violence
Oxymoron
Playing footsie with a bucket hat; so much death on my brain
All these rappers are tucking packs... and gats... and girls... and racks
But each of them will crumble, if I mumble
Yes, I rumble like the young man I am
Quick dinners on a Foreman grill
My facial hair is formin’ still...
I will get no listens on my raps, but trust, Natalie Portman will...
... That’s just the world we live in
What is struggle rap? Rap is innately struggle
Struggle against convention; struggle against the muzzle
If language isn't art, then why did we take that class?
I’m in a computer lab, irritated with a pad, and a mouse on top, a blank Google doc open, typing things that’ll spark a lot of hurt around your colon
I’m really just a Golem, rolling down a hill
Too grounded to smash a bird; no flounder in my palm ‘cause water kills
So what fish in the sea? I’ll stick to xHamster
Teanna Trump or Belle Knox, what's the best answer?
I’m in Urban Dictionary next to “ain’t shit”
I’ll be productive after I heat up this Banquet
I have no Benjamins; I think I'm Franklin
Except I never left my shell
Rappers are ninja turtles, I wish them well, my job is thankless
Any army of one, no vest, and I'm tankless...
... Running in Puff Daddy's house, like "Take this."
|
||||
7. |
this is me, maneuvering.
01:45
|
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[Hook]
Move through this thing like a serpent
You could move through this thing like a serpent
Move through this thing like a circuit
You could move through this thing like a circuit
Move through this thing like a U-Haul
You could move through this thing like a U-Haul
Move through this thing witcha’ cool off
You could move through this thing witcha’ cool off
[Verse 1]
Feeling like Kit Snicket, I could die after giving birth to this verse
God dang, what a sticky wicket
Where to find worth in a world that was birthed with none?
I be aligning with purposes, I be curving some
I might wanna get married, I might wanna be alone
I might wanna grow my hair, I might wanna get a comb
I might wanna let you cook, I might wanna throw a stone, though it’s better in my soup, not headed for your home
We could come together, we could make something good
… Or we can accept blandness
But dammit, why take what we’re handed?
Give me no flavor, and I’d rather have famine
[Verse 2]
Why try, right? Beats me, bruh
I’m just here for the lulz and the pizza
I could die in the street
In my sleep
On the beach, underneath her, smothered by DD cups
(Damn!)
I just wanna be the rap Double D...
(Shit!)
I just wanna NOT be a wannabe...
(Fuck!)
I gotta maneuver out my parent's house
And only Carmen Sandiego’s gonna know my whereabouts
|
||||
8. |
||||
[Verse]
Never been in love… and I’m still not
You only make my blood feel hot
I wanna feel sure; I’ve watched people insist tying a steel knot… then hire a wire cutter
I’m covered in worry; afraid to smother or be smothered
In the ex file cabinet, I would be “other”
...
I’m getting ahead of myself in the worst way
Overwhelmed, internal Wilhelm, feeling any attempt will fail, moment narrated by Will Ferrell
This is much stranger than fiction, still narrow-minded say dreaming’s an affliction
I shouldn’t be so idealistic, I remind myself, but yet, I find myself thinking of you and I, cuddled in a cottage or some shit… countryside sunrise, I am such a “twit”, the computer says back, as I sift through your pics
Or maybe that was Skype; my friends say I’m sick
Yeah, ‘cause Cupid didn’t sanitize the arrow
Now I’m doped up, and dying for you to care, so...
Here I am; and here you are
Tearing me out of myself, seeming as if you’re a star that has no end in sight
Even if I traveled light years, I would find you right here, still burning bright
It’s like... time and space collapse and reform at the blink of your eyes
I die, get reborn
When they close, when they open
When they open, when they close
I grow warm, I go cold
I’m so scared, I’m so bold
No control; ensnared
You’re like gold, you’re my goal
You’re a person I like; is it love, I don’t know
I was told this would feel like peace
… I just wanna know if you feel like me.
[Hook]
I just wanna know what you’ve been up to…
I just wanna know what door to come through…
I just wanna know what completes the puzzle…
I just wanna know what it means to love you…
|
||||
9. |
||||
[Verse 1]
Coupons, I got coupons; discounts, I got discounts
The delivery driver call me pizza boy., and yo’ girl call me Big Mouth
Either way, I stay eatin’; she taste like a Cinnapie
And if my name ain’t in her mouth, then you can guarantee that it’s in her mind
Pizza Hut ain’t no friend of mine, I don’t associate with that second rate
Her panties got left over, now she back for that second taste
Mmm-mmm. Celebrate; told her come by around dinner time
She popped that thang like a Sprite can; my flow be so lemon-lime
Shout out K1ng Eljay, that’s bruh-bruh ‘til the crust gone
You should give me all them beats that Melvin Burch won't cuss on
Cause bitch, I gets down like low serotonin
Bitch, I got heart; Bret, Jim, and Owen
I’m the 7-time champ of the melancholy rap league
Ho, I’m in my pocket, you're like lint tryina’ sack me
True blue boy, I guess you could say I’m crippled
Emotionally handicapped, but I’m never fickle
That’s the order
[Hook]
Don't know what I'm singin' 'bout, but...
Don't know what I'm singin' 'bout, but...
Don't know what I'm singin' 'bout, but...
Don't know what I'm singin' 'bout, but...
[Verse 2]
Eatin' Tuscan Six-Cheese pizza, Cherry Limeade
On a Sunday evening, thinkin' 'bout a Friday
Don’t know how I’ll make it, but I’ll make it, that’s on Papa
Word to John, if you trip? In the car, he got the chopper
So don’t try me, I’m grimy, I’ll blow a hater to oblivion
Heater give your crew blood baths; obsidian
Delivering to any hood, any time
If you’re hungry for a problem, hit the line, and you can dine
But yo’ girl want that sausage, always got her mouth wide
Always got somebody in her like the In-N-Out line
Overrated; but I admit, she still my favorite
‘Cause I never have to tip her, she already know my payment
And she know the way I like it: fresh and warm
Light on the sauciness; she don’t talk back no more
She love me ‘cause I’m real, I trained her to hate fakers
Making bread left and right, that’s that Kay Panabaker
Ungh
[Hook]
[Verse 3]
Chase the Red Bull with water, I am Deadpool and Potter
I'm the hero in my story, and I know it, so don't bother tryin' trick me
Leave me or lick me, you've got two options
My girl look Emma Watson; yo’ girl look like Hopsin
Fuckboy, quit jockin’, when I’m rappin’, ain’t nada wack
Post-performance at a jazz club: I gotta snap
‘Cause that praise shit? I don’t get a lot of that
And to tell the truth, Emma Watson never hollered back
I’m an escapist; this is my greatest act
If I wasn’t living ‘cause of fiction, I would make it fact
It’s the journey, not the fucking destination
Everybody chasin' bullshit; empty chicks with full tits
Twitter follows, Instagram likes, promotions, Gamerscores, and achievements
Bitch, I don’t believe shit but this damn slice that's in front of my face, this damn bed where I lay, and this damn song I created
And that's the order
[Hook]
|
||||
10. |
||||
[Verse]
My phone vibrated: nine favorites and a few retweets
Beats me; I’m still trying not to beat off or become a fixture on a Kidz Bop CD
Light or dark? Branded at birth, but can’t find the mark
Can’t decide if I want to be pure, or eat J. Law’s ass in the heart of a sewer
This is great place to grow; I say this art is manure
If you feel I’m the shit, it’s ‘cause I live it
And my life is shitty, so my art imitates it
If you think it’s shit, then you probably don’t get it
‘Cause, hey, if you diss it, I’m still the shit, which is saying that I’m real, which probably means you’re fake
How’s that for a SAT analogy?
For all these raps, I will make a tutor’s salary
I didn’t start doing this ‘cause it’s lucrative
... I started doing this ‘cause I’m a lunatic
I want stardom sans all of the compromise
I want a faithful girlfriend with Madonna’s mind... mid-80s
I want everyone to play me
I want Fox News to hate me
I want compliments I don’t know what to do with
The fact remains I’m still a gauche college student
And that girl won’t care that I made a good thing that ended up on some blogs that she probably would read, if she knew they existed
Ignorance is bliss in this universe of ours
I disagree with it, but-
I can’t say Wikipedia doesn’t depress
Scott Card hates gays? Color me vexed
Even still, I feel just like Ender
And if I knew Petra, I’d befriend her
But alas, I’m alone on my ass, scratching it because my throne gave me a rash
Certified prince of the forgotten
Screaming on their behalf, I’m seldom being solemn
Gathered what was left of my spirit and attacked
Ignored the thoughts in mind nearest to the back
Sticked it to the stone-faced doubters with bones to pick
I’m breaking barriers using words alone, but it’s-
Speak now and forever lose peace of mind in exchange for accolades and pizza I don’t have pay for
Thanks, corporate sponsor
Now, I’ll lose fans who think I’ve lost my honor... to gain a platform
Which is basically shooting dice at stardom’s backdoor
Everything’s a gamble, I’m starting to ramble
I just want this to translate to candles at dinners with childhood crushes that looked me up and now see a reason to fuck with the renegade puppet
I’m out of control, but you just might love it
I’m out of control, but you just might love it
I’m out of control, but you just might love it
I’m out of control
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